So it's Friday again and as you know last week I got well and truly splattered. I was confident this week that I would be one step ahead of the feathery little bastards and would return home poo free. My vigilance paid off and I did avoid a shitting but I think that may have had something to do with the fact that the whole of the town was covered in a spooky type mist so the nasty gulls probably couldn't see me anyway. Well not now I have lost 2 stone of course........................boom boom.
There was a couple hanging round my car though, for a while and I named them David and Nick. David pretended that he hadn't seen me but Nick clocked me big time and I know they were talking about me.
David - ''psssst Nick, Nick, is that her?''
Nick - ''Who? The one George got last week? In Island Square?''
David - ''yeah that was a beauty. My beak literally dropped open , man. He had been saving that for a few days''
Nick - ''Did you see the fuss she made?''
David - ''Fuss? Bloody hell she was screaming like a crow. Funny as hell though''
Nick - ''David, mate, I think she's clocked us''
David - ''it's ok bud. I'll pretend to whistle and you just stare at the boats. She's too busy instagraming to notice''
Nick - ''Ok mate. Oh shit, she's getting in her car now. Same time tomorrow?''
David - ''yeah no worries. Am gonna eat some raw sausage later so I'll be full as a bandit's rifle. We'll find her tomorrow''.
Or words to that effect.....................
I also banged into a lovely 'girl' that I have know since she was littler. She is a married woman now and has 10 month old twins and I clucked and fussed at them and had a nice chat. When the boys Zac and Rory were born one of them ( I'm sorry Donna I can't recall which ) was very poorly as was their mummy and it was a horrible time for her when it should have been a wonderful time. This made the cockles of my heart glow to see them out and about and smiling and happy and contended and it was one of those 'awwww' moments which we should all have the pleasure of every so often.
It made me feel quite broody. Not for myself to have a baby obviously - my days are long gone, thank god, but there are more and more of my same age friends becoming grandmas. I can't wait to be one. I won't teach them how to bake or sew or anything like that ( I can't do either so I can't) but I will do mad things with them and have them doing blogs and poems in no time at all. I will also let them eat chocolate and crisps and play in mud.
But not yet everyone........not yet! I have stories to write and gulls to avoid.