Wednesday, 20 November 2013

dietdevil: I'm sorry but no no no..............

dietdevil: I'm sorry but no no no..............: So today was Fat Club and I lost another pound and a half. That is 24 pounds in 11 weeks and a total of 4 stone 5!!!!! I am chuffed to piec...

I'm sorry but no no no..............

So today was Fat Club and I lost another pound and a half. That is 24 pounds in 11 weeks and a total of 4 stone 5!!!!! I am chuffed to pieces and am even going to have some red wine tonight as a treat but first I have to moan..............
Due to arriving slightly later than usual there weren't the seats we would have chosen and Witchy Liz was there and guess where the empty seats were? Yes, you've guessed it and my 2 'friends' that I went with managed to leave a nice big gap so I could sit next to her. She pounced on this opportunity and firstly asked me if I wanted to be a nail model for her next week. Luckily I have the valid excuse that I will be in Cardiff so that killed the convo pretty quickly. She then begrudgingly  mumbled well done to me when I said I had lost weight this week.
And then the slurping began...............She appears to have an open wound on her hand and I recall last time she seemed to be licking it? Well today she was licking and picking and it was the sound effects that turned my tummy. To add insult to injury she then retrieved what can only be deemed 'an implement' to assist her in her self abuse. It was some sort of stick which I can only assume is what a real nail technician would use to push cuticles back .  I am fairly squeamish at the best of times and I just had to turn my body away and try not to listen. It's not right, I tell you, not right at all!
But apart from all that I was pleased with my weight. The other ladies up Redruth are warm and funny and a good laugh and there is even an Egyptian man in the class. I do not know how on earth an Egyptian ended up living in Redruth, but he did and he is a saucy little devil!
I was over at the dentists again this afternoon but didn't have to see Casual Nick , who I have to say, was sporting a gigantic Movember tash, but this time it was Penny the lovelty hygienist. She looked at my records , said I had been in the wars, sold me some lovely little rubber things that would be better than floss and then charged me £31. She also said I had dark shadows under my eyes ( I do ) and suggested I had an MOT at the doctors so all in all, I came away feeling like crap.
I have a few plans in the pipeline which are exciting me but I am not sure I can pull them off. One half of me is saying ''yes you can'' and the other half of me is saying ''don't be daft Liz''.
Only time will tell. In the meantime I am going to drink some red wine, brush up my Welsh and make sure I get a nicer seat next time I go to Fat Club.

Monday, 18 November 2013

dietdevil: What's the worst that could happen?

dietdevil: What's the worst that could happen?: So it's November and we were all a bit bored last night.  Debbie was seemingly so bored that she asked me to do a parachute jump with h...

What's the worst that could happen?

So it's November and we were all a bit bored last night.  Debbie was seemingly so bored that she asked me to do a parachute jump with her and I must have been bored enough to agree and we are booking it in for the spring. I am scared of heights and the thought terrifies me and if it all goes horribly wrong we are going to be on the front of the national newspapers and as we are doing it for charity I reckon the headlines could be something like this................
But of course we aren't going to die are we?
My biggest fear is that I will poo myself and ruin the Anneka Rice style jumpsuit I am wearing and the video will be shown on YouTube.
Or that I will land on a cliff edge and fall in the sea and drown.
Or that I will chicken out..........
It seemed like such a good idea at the time but you know what? It will be a laugh and if I am going to meet my maker or be worm fodder or come back as a ghost then at least I will be doing something that I will laugh about. I obviously wont be here to laugh along with you but I am preparing to write my eulogy just in case. And I would like Robbie Williams to sing at my funeral. Thanks.
The charity that I am going to do mine in aid of is the British Heart Foundation in honour of my dear Dad. If he was here and I told him what I was up to,  then he would definitely say something along the lines of ''by pet, what ya deeing that for man?''. And wouldn't it be ironic if I had a heart attack mid jump? I am guessing that some of you may now have picked up on my fear but we are definitely going to do it!
Watch this space people..................
On to dietary things now. I am on my no carb Monday and am mashing cauliflower like there's no tomorrow. I have a feeling I wont lose this week but will stay the same and I am quite happy ( ish ) with that. Another friend is coming along to Redruth with us on Wednesday and I have pre warned her about the eclectic mix of characters that she will encounter. I just hope that Witchy Liz will be back from her apple crumblefest and my friend can see the enigma for herself.
I have started my second ball of wool for the jumper I am knitting and am quite enjoying click clacking away at night. Our Happy Stitchers group is starting in January and it will be a laugh. I would like to say that I will be wearing my new hand knitted jumper by then but I have a lot of things going on between now and January so I think that may be a bit optimistic. But you never know.
And it is just over 5 weeks until Christmas and not a thing has been bought. I know people that have their tree up and I reckon mine will be up in about 4 weeks. I am apparently cooking the dinner, which I am fine about, as nobody cooks a sprout quite like myself and I am guessing there will be several bottles of fizzy stuff consumed before during and after which will be nice.
And in honour of our imminent activities, here is a song that keeps going through my head....

Saturday, 16 November 2013

dietdevil: As long as one outweighs the other

dietdevil: As long as one outweighs the other: So I in a contemplative mood today. I had 7 vodkas last night so I am guessing I am not running on full cylinders today. My scales are also...

As long as one outweighs the other

So I in a contemplative mood today. I had 7 vodkas last night so I am guessing I am not running on full cylinders today. My scales are also saying I am THREE POUNDS UP but I am guessing and hoping )  that's because I ate late last night so I will only stress if those nasty pounds are still hanging around on Wednesday.........
Four of us from book group had a meal out with drinks at the pub opposite last night and without meaning to sound ultra cheesy I am actually feeling quite blessed today that I have got some wonderful and funny friends. Debbie H, who doesn't come out with us that often is hilarious. She had had her hair done up Camborne by a trainee with possibly the most dubious name I have ever heard. It is the name that a Victorian prostitute would have in a Jeffrey sodding Archer 'novel' and I cant say the name on here because I have actually checked out this person and it is her real name.
Jenny, the most mature member of the group was looking so glamorous and the men in the pub were over her like a bad rash. We were loving it. Mel wore her fab sexy shoes ....
And I think we all looked lovely.
The conversation nipped from one subject to another. The banter was delicious ( and so was the food ) and in the words of the legendary Cilla Black - it was a ''lorra lorra laffs''.
We also decided to form a stitching group. I am now a huge fan of knitting ( yet again ), Debbie wants to make stuff as the last think she sewed was a pair of PE shorts back in the day and we both bemoaned the lack of gingham in today's society. Jenny is very talented with a needle. She does that beautiful American quilting and even went to the USA a couple of months ago to hang around with Amish people to learn the tricks of the trade. I think there will be wine involved but I am looking forward to it because one thing is for sure - it will be funny.
Which leads me to the point of this blog.
I have many people in my life and I have written before about all the arseholes that I have had to deal with in the course of the last few months. Some of those arseholes are still around but you know what? I am so happy to now say that the lovely people outweigh them by loads and that's what matters isn't it? I have made new friends this year that are now very much part of my life, I have strengthened friendships with others due to sad events, and some are the same as ever - just brilliant. These are the people that have kept me going when times have been tough and the arseholes? Well there's always going to be some wherever you go..............I may be the arsehole to some - one man's meat is another man's poison etc but it's generally all good and positive.
And any of my friends that read this will know who they are.
And any arseholes reading this wondering if I am referring to them.....well yes, I probably am.
One final recollection from last night - Debbie H knows Witchy Liz from fat club!
Debbie used to work for the Body Shop and claims WL came in once for a 'make over'. She didn't say if she was wearing her hat and cloak on that specific day but I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall. You gotta love WL and as much as I laugh at her, I genuinely hope she will be at Fat Club next week. It is Thanksgiving Day across the pond soon, so I am hoping against hope that she comes as a turkey or a yam or some pecan pie.
That would be too good.

Thursday, 14 November 2013

dietdevil: You knit and make soup in the winter, right?

dietdevil: You knit and make soup in the winter, right?: So it is cold and it is the winter and I want to knit a jumper and I want to make soup. A jumper that I will finish knitting and a soup tha...

You knit and make soup in the winter, right?

So it is cold and it is the winter and I want to knit a jumper and I want to make soup. A jumper that I will finish knitting and a soup that will taste nice.
So no pressure there then.
I furtively sneaked out yesterday and got myself a pattern and some needles and some lovely grey and black chunky wool with the odd sequin here and there. It sounds awful but it's actually quite nice and I really cant wait to post a picture of me wearing it. It may be a long wait but it's my new hobby and I am going to finish this one. Definitely.
I also felt the need to do some good old Slimming World cooking. Inspired by one of the ladies up Redruth, who always bakes 'cakes' for us all to nibble while we are having our coffee, I fell back on my trusty old favourite from a couple of years ago - couscous cake!
I have established in previous blogs that the SW cakes are no eclairs or doughnuts but fat people cant be choosers and it is so miserable and cold at the moment and I don't do carbs 2 days of the week so on the other 5 I need something sweet and just downright stodgy. I couldn't remember the ingredients ( apart from couscous obviously ) so I threw what I thought was the correct quantities into a mixing bowl and then into a cake tin and it is currently sat on my hob looking at me. I have yet to taste it.
And yet another pan of soup is sitting there right next to it. I am confident that this one will be edible. It has brussel sprouts in , which is never a bad thing, and chopped up roast potatoes from last night and a few carrots. I have named it 'roasted country vegetable' soup and in the words of the brilliant Victoria and Julia  - ''what  country? Taiwan?''
I have also made a pork tikka masala and it has been nubbling in my slow cooker for 7 hours. It smells nice and after doing a bit of spoon dipping I can confirm that it tastes good too.
I have 5 and a half pounds to lose until my next award and 6 weigh ins until Christmas. That is less than a pound a week. Soup, pork curry and couscous cake are going to enable me to achieve that goal and then the minging dress will be draped around my body - and zipped up too!
I am aiming to be wearing my jumper by January and you will notice that I have not specified which January. I must also avoid eating any of my special cake whilst knitting as couscous crumbs do not go well with black , grey and sequinned.
Onwards and downwards.

Wednesday, 13 November 2013

dietdevil: I love a good breadasm and a hat trick and being p...

dietdevil: I love a good breadasm and a hat trick and being p...: So I lost 2 pounds and ( men look away ) it's the 'wrong time of the month' so I rarely lose this week and I am chuffed to bits...

I love a good breadasm and a hat trick and being photo bombed by Elton!

So I lost 2 pounds and ( men look away ) it's the 'wrong time of the month' so I rarely lose this week and I am chuffed to bits and I know I am boring the pants off everyone and I don't care!
I scored a fat club hat trick!
1. Got my stone and a half
2. Got my ten per cent
3. Got the 'slimmer of the week' award
And to compensate for the bloody steak and lettuce from Monday I celebrated in true fat club style and had myself a whopper of a brunch when I got back.
Amid the crispy grilled bacon and Leanne's eggs courtesy of Beryl and Jean the chickens, you will see 2 slices of bread. Not 2 slices of wholemeal from a 400g loaf. Oh no, proper seeded lush stuff. The bread of dreams as far as I am concerned and totally delish. I adore bread but 2 measly slices are rarely enough so that is why I generally abstain from it. Not on a Wednesday though. Wednesday is all about the thick sliced and all about me enjoying it.
I got my secret fat club buddy to take a pic of me brandishing my latest award and it was only after I had uploaded it on facebook I realised that I was actually holding the wrong certificate so oh well. You will also notice that I was stood in front of the door and Elton John appears to be trying to get in.
He only wants to be my friend now I am thin, the fickle bitch.

I have now set my next target of 2 stone by Christmas. My normal fat club session falls on Christmas Day and they are therefore doing the class on Friday 27th. I have told the consultant that there is no way I am going to weigh on that day so we are going to weigh 2 days early instead on the 23rd up Camborne! I cant wait to meet the Camborne ladies and I reckon they will be as just as entertaining as the ones from Redruth, but maybe slightly less mad.

Witchy Liz was AWOL. We predict an incident involving mother's crumble or maybe difficulty in finding a topical outfit for this week. We did think maybe a poppy or  a toffee apple and I am sad that I will miss her in full fairy/ elf/ Christmas tree/ sprout get up on Friday 27th.

Anything can happen in Redruth.

Just ask Elton...............

Tuesday, 12 November 2013

dietdevil: Babies, Birthdays, Banter and Flimsy.

dietdevil: Babies, Birthdays, Banter and Flimsy.: So yesterday I was busy doing all sorts of nice things. I went and visited the new born baby Beau and had lots of cuddles and said ooh and ...

Babies, Birthdays, Banter and Flimsy.

So yesterday I was busy doing all sorts of nice things. I went and visited the new born baby Beau and had lots of cuddles and said ooh and aah a lot and marvelled at how tiny he is. Were my 2 ever that small? They must have been but I certainly cant remember.
And speaking of small and getting bigger, M and I went out last night to celebrate her best and oldest friend's 17th birthday. Little Billie. They lived in the house behind us and the fence fell down and they forged a path through the hedge and the rest is history. I have cuddled her, fed her, bathed her, told her off occasionally, tucked her into bed and she genuinely is part of our family. The banter between her and M is brilliant. They know each other so well. We recalled stories of their adventures as little girls , we laughed because Billie had to sit on a pillow for her first driving lesson, we sat tight lipped as they told us how they are going to drive to college when they have both passed their tests and it was a brilliant night.
And Billie's mum Karen and myself gave ourselves  a congratulatory pat on the backs for perhaps being not the most conventional mums in the whole world, but we still managed to raise good people.
Now onto the actual meal. It was in the local gastro pub and as I surveyed the menu yesterday my heart did sink a little bit. What the hell was I going to eat? It was a non carb day and I have rattled on all week about how much I want that half pound for my next award and nothing was going to stop me. Billie's older sister is at uni in Edinburgh and had rung the pub earlier in the day and there was a lovely bottle of cold fizz awaiting us when we sat down. Ok, I thought, a couple of glasses wont hurt me. I then plumped for the steak and specifically said 'no chips' and ordered veg instead. The sneaky bastards had put a blob of butter on the steak which I scraped off and ironically Billie's mum ( the slimmest person I know ) ate the fat off the sirloin.
Despite the fact chips weren't involved I still had a wonderful time and when the cake was brought out , which M had made the night before it was a magical moment.
And I didn't have a crumb. And it had three layers and a ganache filling.
And I am told it was delicious.
I am not being all humbug. I just want to lose this final bit of weight more than I want to eat cake. M being the feeder of the house whips one up most days and they sit and stare at me and it is oh so hard but I cant stop her creativity.
I did however, sniff the cake. Fresh air is free.
Onwards and downwards.

Saturday, 9 November 2013

dietdevil: Ladies wot lunch and darkening nights and knit one...

dietdevil: Ladies wot lunch and darkening nights and knit one...: So today I had lunch with my friend Tara in the Pednolva Hotel  no less, and no we didn't sit on the roof because it was freezing but t...

Ladies wot lunch and darkening nights and knit one purl one.

So today I had lunch with my friend Tara in the Pednolva Hotel  no less, and no we didn't sit on the roof because it was freezing but the best bit of all was the fact that she too has lost a lot of weight so chips weren't an option. We plumped for the prawn and crab salad and it was wee and we therefore ate very very slowly. We talked about everything under the sun and it was just downright nice. I had 2 vodkas with diet coke and I did not keel over or roll my eyes or froth at the mouth so obviously the evil pills are gone from my system and I do love an illicit lunchtime tipple. It was extremely civilised which counteracted all the more messy afternoons I spent on the roof slurping magners and getting sunburn a few months ago.  Tara is a busy lady and dances and does zumba and I felt my paltry 2 gym sessions  were a little naff in comparison  but we did big each other up on the weight loss front and discuss the joys of hip bones and new clothes. A good day indeed.
Tara pre nibble

Me holding a big prawn

And a view of the pier and the tide going out and the night drawing in - lovely!
My night out last night was fun too. I caught up with an old friend that I haven't caught up with for ages and we were proper locals. We entered the meat draw at The Sloop , we yapped to other people that we hadn't seen for ages and we wandered up Fore Street and didn't see a soul. It's times like this that I remember why I love St Ives.
I got home today to find out that Debbie has ordered me a ticket for a wine tasting, I have writing group next week and a meal out on Friday, I have made soup and I am thinking about knitting a jumper. It's the sort of thing you do in the autumn isn't it?
I have even nearly bought a Christmas present. I couldn't quite find the courage to go to the checkout but it is there just waiting for me in my online shopping basket.
For all my Facebook readers, you already know this but I had a bit of a to do with my scales this morning. Hopped on and saw the words 'FATT' pop up on the display screen and it was only when I had stopped snarling that I realised it actually said 'BATT' and my battery is low. Funny now but  at the time it made me have a little palpitation which is never good on a Saturday, or any other day really.
So as I sit here writing this blog and the light is dimming outside I am thinking about the big bowl of soup waiting for me and the cheese and I am going to grate into it and that famous bottle of prosecco that is sat waiting for me in the fridge. A night of totally crap telly, a bit of banter on Facebook, a night in bed with my Kindle and then shopping and swimming tomorrow.
I haven't yet mentioned the half pound I want to lose because I am just not thinking about it at all.

Friday, 8 November 2013

dietdevil: In the zone and in the gym

dietdevil: In the zone and in the gym: So I had a long chat with a friend this morning over coffee about diets. She struggles too and we were talking about getting in the zone. I...

In the zone and in the gym

So I had a long chat with a friend this morning over coffee about diets. She struggles too and we were talking about getting in the zone. I can honestly say I have never been so determined in my life as I am at the moment but it's hard. I have quite a busy social life ( thank goodness ) and it's quite often a case of finding the right balance. I played in the quiz last night and there is always a buffet supper afterwards and I have to say that last night's looked lovely. Lots of freshly made sandwiches oozing with mayo and homemade chips and dips.
And I resisted.
The reason I resisted was this - I had already eaten my dinner so was therefore not hungry which I think all of us diet devils can identify with - a lot of the eating we do seems to be for the sake of it and not because we actually have rumbly tums.
Fat clubs throw a few clichés at us and as much as they are cheesy some of them do make sense. One of my favourites is ''do you like it enough to wear it?'' and this always rings true with me. I am not for one moment suggesting that you should deny all life's food pleasures but it's all about asking what you want to have more. Witchy Liz at Fat Club was moaning that she couldn't lose weight because her mother keeps making apple crumbles and sticky toffee puds but as our esteemed consultant said, she only had to say no and unless her mother was tying her to a chair and shovelling it into her mouth then she didn't have to have it. Having said that, this is a full grown woman who chose to wear a witch's hat and cloak and it is also Redruth and this woman lives in Camborne so in all fairness, the whole chair tying up incident may well have happened.
In the last 9 weeks, since I have rejoined fat club and been a virtual angel I have had at least 5 meals out, several trips to the pub and been away to Bristol and have still lost. I haven't denied myself anything that I have really wanted and I can assure you all that a lovely fresh Greek salad with a steak tastes just as nice as a pile of chips. Honestly.
I do worry with Christmas fast approaching though. I always have a girlie lunch out with my 2 gay buddies on Christmas Eve and I always drink lashings of wine and I also always always always have a crème brulee for pudding. I am still going for the lunch this year and I am not sure what I shall eat but I am not going to stay home and stare at a lettuce. Christmas Day is all about the sprouts and of course, the fizzy stuff. I always seem to get given a lot of wine at this time of year ( I wonder why??? ) and I may find that hard to resist. Boxing Day usually means a handful of Cadbury's Roses and the rest of the day is all about the bread and the pickles. I have at least 3 parties over the festive season and I will cope. I have to.
And now my gums are happy and I am no longer taking the tablets I genuinely feel a lot better. I am off to the gym today and tomorrow and Sunday and I hope that this may contribute towards that hallowed half pound which I so desperately want.
There are 5 days left until my next weigh in and I think I can do it. It typically falls on a week where I don't generally lose but stranger things have happened. Oh and also throw into the mix the fact that one of M's friends celebrates her 17th birthday on Monday and we are off for an Indian on  a day I don't usually carb then I may have a problem. A friend has suggested chicken tikka and salad and I will avert my eyes from the chicken tikka masala and the delicious naans and bhajis.
It will be worth it if I get that next award and if I don't then look out Redruth!

Thursday, 7 November 2013

dietdevil: Water and quiche and bye bye Casual Nick - see ya ...

dietdevil: Water and quiche and bye bye Casual Nick - see ya ...: So it was book group and it was my first book group where I didn't have lots of wine or a gigantic vodka. I ceremoniously took my last ...

Water and quiche and bye bye Casual Nick - see ya next May xxx

So it was book group and it was my first book group where I didn't have lots of wine or a gigantic vodka. I ceremoniously took my last tablet last night after a delicious slice of quiche and promised myself that in 48 hours I would put something a little more cold and fizzy in my tum.
Have I missed alcohol? - YES!
And no ....

 In all fairness the first part of my tablet taking I felt so ill that I wasn't bothered and I managed a lunch out and a dinner out and a trip to the pub and I was ok with it...........but book group needs wine and it was then that I missed it the most as I sipped my large glass of water. It was still a good night though and our next book is by Robert Galbraith aka JK Rowling writing under one of her many different names. Having never read a Harry Potter I am interested in what this one will be like.

I had my last date with Casual Nick for another 6 months and I told him all about all my symptoms from the last week. He was unimpressed or sympathetic and then performed some gum cleaning on me which was agony and left me with tears in my eyes. He had the decency  to give me a tissue with which to blot my lipstick first though and I pretended it didn't hurt and it was only his overhead lamp which was causing me to well up. He did tell me to raise my hand if it all got too much for me as I was unable to speak after about 5 seconds into the treatment but I kept my hand down and was just the bravest ever.

He then charged me £31 - the bastard.

I am out again tonight. I am playing in THE QUIZ or as my friend Debbie has just referred to it as 'crossing back over to the dark side'. The team that I am playing on are VERY clever and I don't think in all my years of playing in the league that we ever beat them. having said that, my team last season only won about 2 games so that isn't really an indication of their superior intelligence, but believe me, they are. I am hoping against hope that there is going to be at least a couple of particularly shallow corkers that will give me my chance to shine and there is no need for me to announce at the beginning that I wont answer much as they all know me anyway.

And I shall resist the buffet. The food in the pub I am going to is generally really nice and they do fab sandwiches but I can literally smell that shiny sticker and in the words of Starship -

''nothing's gonna stop me now''

I did a half hearted hop on those mo fo scales this morning and I was a pound up. I ate 2 slices of quiche, some nachos and a lot of grapes and strawberries so all in all I was a good girl and I can right those wrongs in the next few days. Hell I am even going to try and make soup again and we all know that I am possibly the crappest soup maker in the world.

Onwards and downwards.

Wednesday, 6 November 2013

dietdevil: I wouldn't do that to a sausage and they eat nacho...

dietdevil: I wouldn't do that to a sausage and they eat nacho...: So that's fat club done for another week and I lost a pound! I really wanted an extra half a pound to give me a new shiny sticker but I...

I wouldn't do that to a sausage and they eat nachos in prison don't they?

So that's fat club done for another week and I lost a pound! I really wanted an extra half a pound to give me a new shiny sticker but I can wait. Patience is not one of my strongest points but I will have to get some. I also need to ignore those flipping scales because I am now really obsessing about them and it's book group tonight which means only one thing ( apart from intellectual discussion obviously )  - FOOD!
We have tried recently to do food that is relevant to the book we are discussing. Last month, we did a Cornish buffet as it was a local author but this month it's a book about life in a Bolivian prison and as creative as I can be I just can't think of anything Bolivian or prison like to cook. I was going to take a bowl of porridge or some cabbage with razor blades hidden under it  but I have decided to plump for nachos as nachos are sort of South American and they also taste lovely with a nice cheeky merlot or a long cool icy vodka but as you all know, it's water for me for another 2 days...........sob.
Now on the subject of food, there was some rum ideas being bandied about at fat club this morning. I honestly think that Redruth has its' own special lifestyle choices in terms of many things. One of these is the sizing of clothing  and the other appears to be their version of what's nice to eat....
One of the lovely ladies and they really are lovely and friendly and so welcoming to we outsiders , was talking about quorn. I DESPISE quorn - I really really loathe it. Not only did she say she ate a lot of it but she then started saying she chopped up quorn sausages for a stir fry. Now after quorn my next pet hate is stir fry so putting them together is quite frankly wrong on every level.
And on the whole quorn subject - another lady then proceeded to tell us about how quorn sausages are apparently 'ansum' if sliced in half, spread with low fat cheese spread and marmite and then grilled. Ummmm not a recipe I shall be trying soon but then again the evil in me is thinking that perhaps they eat that in Bolivia's prisons??? I do have all the ingredients,  as I rashly bought some of the quorn sausages for the day that I was a vegetarian a couple of weeks back and I am actually intrigued if not slightly repulsed by the thought of it.
My new best friend 'Liz' was there today and she was not wearing her witch's outfit. My fat club buddy and I managed to sit away from her and I said hello but she was not happy! She put on half a pound and from what we can gather she has been coming for a couple of years and not lost a single ounce. She is blaming her mother who keeps making apple crumble but the consultant wasn't having any of it. She said to her that all she had to do was say no and Witchy Liz that she couldn't and the consultant said well you'll have to and this is the exact reason that I could never do that job!!!!
I have a late night date with Casual Nick later. My gums are looking fab and I reckon there will be some dry banter on both sides. He is very funny and I think my potential tooth loss paranoia amused him. I know he will try and persuade me to have all sorts of things done but I shall refuse and god help me if any more antibiotics are whipped out of his drawers.
Actually, god help Casual Nick. I shall stand firm and be assertive.
And then I shall eat nachos.

Tuesday, 5 November 2013

dietdevil: Teetotal Tourettes and Good Riddance Metronidazole...

dietdevil: Teetotal Tourettes and Good Riddance Metronidazole...: So I am on day 7 of no booze. I haven't missed it but in all fairness I have been so poorly what with my 'mouth issues' that I ...

Teetotal Tourettes and Good Riddance Metronidazole!

So I am on day 7 of no booze. I haven't missed it but in all fairness I have been so poorly what with my 'mouth issues' that I haven't even thought about it.  I don't care if you lot don't believe me - it's true! I finish the tablets tomorrow and I am allowed to have a drink 48 hours later - so that's my Friday night sorted. There is something cold and fizzy in my fridge and it's not diet coke and I am going to have a huge glass of it with my dinner.
I had a long chat with a friend today about nothing in particular and I have to say I was a potty mouthed shrew. I quite like the odd swear but I do believe that there is a time and a place and that time and place was around 10.30 in my lounge this morning. I picked up on the fact that I was being a bit rude and we decided that I had 'teetotal tourettes'. It was great and I may just never drink again but swear a lot but I seriously doubt that will happen. I simply cannot deny myself one of life's pleasures without balancing the naughtiness out elsewhere and therefore I am thinking as soon as I have that first glug that I will revert to speaking like Joanna Lumley again.
I am seeing Casual Nick tomorrow and he will say ( he's Welsh so I am doing him in a Ness from Gavin and Stacey accent but he doesn't speak anything like that at all really ) -
CN - Aright presh, how's it going?
ME - Well Nick now you mention it, I have my list of side effects with me...........
CN - Cockin lush ............
He will be impressed by my bravery and he will no doubt poke around my gums again and if he even dares to suggest that I need another week's worth then my teetotal tourettes may be unleashed.
On a negative note - I am not going to get that shiny award tomorrow at fat club. According to my mutha f**** scales I am 2 pounds up. They are totally messing with my head and they nearly got a swift kick this morning. I have eaten nothing naughty at all, I resisted every bloody cake going and I can feel a huge hissy fit brewing. I can just about handle a maintain but if I see a plus sign in my weight book then look out Redruth! And if that witchy woman also called Liz sits near me trying to befriend me again then she may get the brunt of the potential hissy fit. Just saying.
I know I am being a drama queen but I am frustrated and I know there are going to be weeks I don't lose but I just think why the hell would it be on a week when I have lived the life of a nun? I have been to a restaurant and eaten healthily  , I have been to a pub and drunk diet coke  and all for what ? No booze and a 2 pound gain. AND no carbs today or yesterday!
I can feel an attack coming on so I am going to eat a Satsuma.
Everyone cross your god damned effing fingers for me.

Monday, 4 November 2013

dietdevil: Buns, Bunting and Banter!

dietdevil: Buns, Bunting and Banter!: So the cake sale has been and gone! It was fab! We sold loads and had a hoot! What I lacked in baking skills I made up for in persuading cu...

Buns, Bunting and Banter!

So the cake sale has been and gone! It was fab! We sold loads and had a hoot! What I lacked in baking skills I made up for in persuading customers to buy stuff and Leanne's cookies were outstanding! It was a roaring success and we are doing it again in a month.
And due to us both being giddy on the smell of sugar we have got grand plans. There will be a sign, there is going to be fairy lights and  more rock buns............did I mention that my rock buns sold like hot cakes? Well they did and they made up for the horrific jam tarts. My friend Debra's little girl had one very early into the day and claimed that it was 'hard' - she ate the jam with her tongue and then gave me the discarded pastry case. From then on whenever anyone wanted to buy one ( which wasn't often  I assure you ) I flinched a bit and I'm sure Leanne muttered under her breath at one point as she bagged one up ''yeah good luck with that''.
This was the offending article after Lucy had removed the jam. Readers of a delicate disposition may want to look away.............
But it was lovely to catch up with people and see lots of new babies all snug in their buggies as their yummy mummy's struggled between the choice of post birth weight loss and a muffin. Leanne and I are curvaceous so we encouraged them to buy as many as possible and it seemed to work as there was hardly anything left. Mainly jam tarts really - but we don't want to talk about that. I am letting go.
And speaking of me and cakes - can I just say that I did not have a single one! Nothing passed my lips other that a black coffee half way through the morning. Add that to the fact that I am still on my antibiotics and the fact that I don't carb today or tomorrow and you will be impressed that I am even strong enough to type this blog. Oh and if I don't get that next shiny on Wednesday there will be trouble up Redruth!
Our next cake stall is on Saturday 7th December. We have got very grand plans. There will be mince pies ( obviously ) and bits of gingerbread that you can hang on trees and home made sweets and everything! Of course by then I will not be on medication and will almost be a size zero so I may treat myself to some sort of nicey as a treat.
I have also resolved a couple of issues today and tomorrow is my last full day of tablets and we also raised money for Cancer Research and the British Heart Foundation so all good.
Onwards and downwards.
And finally, a certain 'friend' has just emailed me to say and I quote .....
I lost a whole tooth this afternoon but I am not relating the loss to your rock buns.... Lol
Maybe next month's sale should come with a disclaimer............

Sunday, 3 November 2013

dietdevil: Yesterday - antiobiotic hell, Today - cake heaven....

dietdevil: Yesterday - antiobiotic hell, Today - cake heaven....: So yesterday was day 4 of my vile tablets. It didn't go well. I made the mistake of having a flimsy brekkie before my first pill of the...

Yesterday - antiobiotic hell, Today - cake heaven.

So yesterday was day 4 of my vile tablets. It didn't go well. I made the mistake of having a flimsy brekkie before my first pill of the day and I went downhill - fast! I wont go into the ins and outs and graphics of it but I was a weak and crumpled wreck with all sorts of side effects ( real and imaginary) infesting my body. I was all set to give them up and ring Casual Nick tomorrow demanding some different ones  but a very good friend with 'the knowledge'  told me to man up and eat stodgier meals. So I am torn between painful gums and my next shiny sticker but the gums won and I shall persevere.
There is no point in being slim if I have an unhappy mouth.
It is cakes a go go in my kitchen at this precise moment. M and her best friend Loli are crashing about in there as we speak. I have had a conference call with Leanne this morning and we went over the finer points of packaging and where she can park in the morning and of course our dresses. She has her list, M and Loli have their list and I have my list. Mine is the lower end of the gene pool of baking...
Rock Buns
Coconut Ice
Jam Tarts
These are things that most kids can make with their eyes shut. I am not a kid and my eyes will be wide open. I cant go wrong can I? I know that baking is not my forte and I have many other talents so the results should be interesting. I am thinking that the 'distressed' look is what I am going for and rock buns can be any old shape so it's all going to be fine. I also haven't tried my dress on but I am confident that it will fit! As long as I don't sample the food.
Some photos of the work in progress........
M and Loli star bakers
M and her heart shaped cake tin
Loli being industrious
Some of the many ingredients including some pink icing in M's mouth - nice!
And notice what they're watching on the iPad whilst baking.
So far so good. My kitchen is smelling wonderful. Mary Berry is keeping an eye on them and they have posh ravioli for lunch.
When they have finished the more creative items for the stall , I shall go in!
Rock buns will be the new in thing by the time I have finished with them and no messing!

Friday, 1 November 2013

dietdevil: I'm not one to moan.....................but..........

dietdevil: I'm not one to moan.....................but..........: So I am now on day three of these antibiotics and I don't want to play any more. They may be curing all my ills but I actually feel wor...

I'm not one to moan.....................but................

So I am now on day three of these antibiotics and I don't want to play any more. They may be curing all my ills but I actually feel worse now I have started taking them than I did before. My gums feel a bit better and I am surviving my alcohol ban and that's about it really. I treated myself to some lovely winter vegetable soup today from the health food shop and I have to say -  it was delicious. I also bought some multi vitamins and something to settle my tummy. I am determined to feel better for Monday and all the cake flogging.

Halloween seemed to pass us by last night. No kids knocked on the door that I know of and the next big thing on is November 5th. I like fireworks, but only really on Bonfire Night. Having 3 dogs and a cat doesn't make for a relaxing evening when there are rockets and swishy loud things going off every 5 minutes does it? I spoke to my fat club buddy today and we were still laughing at 'the witch' from Wednesday and we were sort of wondering if she will turn up next week dressed as a rocket or a toffee apple. Miaow.

My scales do not love me for some reason. I am 2 pounds up on Wednesday so I was an even unhappier bunny than normal this morning. I have scoured the side effects of the nasty tablets for 'weight gain' and cant find it so I shall have to just wait and see and remember not to lick any spoons and bowls. I can eat normally and have been as good as gold so don't know what that's all about but if they continue to be mean to me they will get lobbed down my very long flight of stairs.

I am hoping that tomorrow I may feel a bit better and if I do then I will be going again to the gym! I could still walk today after yesterday's shenanigans so am up for another session. And another and another and another obviously.

And finally - I was so happy the other day to get my new boots through the post. I like boots and I loved the look of these. I wore them today and they are the most uncomfortable pair of boots I have ever worn in my life. Gutted is an understatement! I had high hopes for those bad boys and now................well they can go and sit under minging dress and I shall scowl at them in passing.

Tomorrow I will feel better and I will wear flip flops.