Thursday, 30 December 2010

''One at a time love'' said the talking scales......

Well Christmas is well and truly over - my tree is limp, my patience is spent and my fridge is nearly back to normal - when I say 'normal' what I mean is that there is no longer mysteriously shaped and coloured cheese and gallons of double cream. It now has milk and bacon and salad stuff - stuff that new years resolutions are made of!

Tomorrow is the last day of 2010 and in true 'new beginnings' style I rejoined all my pals at Fat Club on Tuesday, tried not to cry too much when I got on those infuriatingly accurate scales ( if they were talking ones , what would they say???? ) and came home motivated to get off my posterior and do something POSITIVE!

As you already know, Robbie and I are meeting up on June 22nd 2011 and I have have HAVE to look good! This is now 25 weeks away and I am still going for 2 pounds a week - it's not as much as I had initially anticipated but my medical condition ( I like eating ) has prevented me from being good and has forced me into devouring lots and  lots of mince pies etc. Well now the mince pies are gone and so , soon, will my extra weight......nothing can stop me, there is nothing to tempt me........OR SO I THOUGHT........

A gift from a client which should have arrived before Christmas has just been delivered - it is a John Lewis luxury hamper - it has wine, coffee, LUXURY mince pies, LUXURY fruit cake, LUXURY cheese straws, LUXURY fudge, LUXURY chocolates - it is the Tara Palmer Tomppkinson of the hamper world and I am donating it to my 2 favourite Christmas fairies - they know who they are and I hope they realise the sacrifice I have made.

On that jolly note, I am going to now sniffle into my iced water.......

Wednesday, 1 December 2010

Snow Joke .....and a million lame excuses.

Well what a few days - I haven't blogged since Friday when it all seemed to be going quite well but err, woops, ummm, it all went a bit downhill!

Weekends are always a bit tricky for me as I only actually go out to work 2 days a week and as those 2 days are Friday and Saturday, it's a bit of a no no. Also, as X Factor is nearing to a close and tensions are running high the only 2 things that will keep me relatively calm are merlot and chocolate . I know it all sounds like lame excuses ( it IS lame excuses) but please bear with me.

And then of course came the snow.

I am infact from Alnwick , a cobble streeted medieval town in Northumberland , which is now famour for its' snow. When I was a bairn I often romped in 6 foor snow drifts and  my Dad often dug a clearing down the path so we could get out - so let's just say I'm no stranger to the cold white stuff.

I now live in St Ives , a cobble streeted town in Cornwall, which is famous for its' golden sandy beaches, palm trees, Tate and seagulls. I have lived here for 21 years and it NEVER snows, or if it does it's a pitiful amount that would only attract scorn from an average Northumbrian but , on Monday it DID snow and it DID lie and this meant that the schools were shut and we couldn't go anywhere in the car and we had to eat more chocolate and drink more wine just to keep warm. It also meant that I couldn't go to Fat Club as it is situated up a very icy and windy road at the top of town ( I live at the bottom ) which gave me even more carte blanche to basically be naughty.
 To add insult to injury my central heating has also decided to go the same way as my teenage daughters and act downright tardy. I press buttons and I can almost hear it saying ''yeah whatever - I'll switch on when I like - just quit nagging me - oh that's it I'm off'' but thankfully my David Hasselhoff lookalikey plumber came and sorted it out.

So that's all my lame excuses. The snow has melted in St Ives, the schools are open again and I am eating porridge with blueberries and bananas so fingers crossed I will continue to behave...................for now xxx

Friday, 26 November 2010

Ten steps to heaven..............

I am on the first day of my 3 potential diet danger days - Friday , Saturday and Sunday .......and so far have survived!

It is so cold and dark at the moment and after looking at everyone's snowy Alnwick pictures on Facebook I was feeling a bit sad and nostalgic - thinking about all the fun we had in the snow when growing up and also thinking how my Dad used to keep me up to date  on the weather in my hometown.
When Dad died I took away all his old diaries which never disclosed any shocking revelations but,  without fail recorded the weather on that day. It was part of his routine and as every true Brit knows, always a good topic of conversation.

So I was feeling a little low and decided to go the local salad bar to get one of their delicious salad boxes. The salad bar is unfortunately situated next to and opposite 2 bakers shops but I ignored them both. I didn't however ignore Pauline, one of the lovely ladies from Slimming World ( or Fat Club as we fondly call it ) as she works in a shoe shop opposite and beside the 2 bakers. I showed her my salad and she showed me an apple . We then had a mutual chuckle about soup spurting out of the pan - 'porn soup' , poo and I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!

When I got home and had eaten my salad I texted Pauline to say that I wanted a cream cake and she pointed out that she did too but she had just had a banana and that I must shush as the bakers was only 10 steps THAT'S what I call willpower!

Thursday, 25 November 2010

Quorn sausages are the devil's fingers.....

I am bored and have just had a rummage in my freezer. Every so often I buy a packet of Quorn sausages but I genuinely don't know why I bother , as every time I cook them I will have one bite and then remember how much I don't like them. Other group members claim to 'love them' and how 'they're just the same as real sausages' but this is one of life's many myths - there is no way that those rubbery little bad boys are the same as a big, fat, porky, juicy banger. End of. For vegetarians though, maybe it does remind them of the real thing........

This brings me on to the lengths we go to when trying to lose weight and eat healthily, to substitute the so called naughty foods for their lower fat / calorie equivalent.
Tonight, for example, I am cooking lasagne - and the 'white sauce' will be a concoction of egg yolks ,  quark and cottage cheese. This may sound yukky  but it infact tastes delicious - so delicious that I may have to have an extra large plateful.

Past failures in the 'substitutes' cooking department would have to include low fat hot chocolate stirred into fromage frais  - it apparently tastes just like chocolate mousse - it doesn't - it tastes like ( you've probably already guessed ) low fat hot chocolate stirred into fromage frais , the use of  yogurt or fromage frais instead of cream - hmmmm - I tried to make creamy garlic mushrooms once using greek yogurt instead of double cream and it curdled in the pan ( I ate it anyway ) and it was toe curlingly vile, beansprouts instead of spaghetti and finally possibly the funniest substitution / adaptation ever was a suggestion by a Weight Watcher leader who suggested grating a bit of cheddar , mixing it with grated carrots and leaving it overnight as the carrots would then be 'like cheese' in the morning! I never tried this and hand on heart, I never will.

Wednesday, 24 November 2010

Do I really need a chart on the fridge? Of course I do!!!!!.

Ok - it's my first day blogging and I am very aware that I need to make this witty, interesting, fun and want to leave the reader gagging for more.....

I am a yo yo dieter - I have tried everything. I have done Slimfast, Calories, Cabbage Soup, Bananas and milk, Fruit and yogurt and Slimming World and it's Slimming World that works for me - when I actually DO it.

I have become one of those people that goes to group every week and never actually gets any thinner. I lose a bit, I gain a bit, I lose the plot, I find the wine...I'm sure you get the picture but this time I absolutely have to succeed as I have a very very important date next June that I need to look good for.
I am off to see Take That with one of my oldest ( and thinnest, grrr ) friends and I just cannot be wobbling when everyone else is writhing can I?
There are so many things that I was going to lose weight for and haven't - my 40th, my 41st, my daughter's 18th , various Christmases , holidays etc etc and although I enjoyed them all I know I would have enjoyed them MORE if I was slimmer. I am naturally a show off and can be a bit of a party animal when on the vino but being a bloater has supressed that part of me.
I am not unrealistic - I do not think that if I was slim that my life would be a box of chocolates ( woops ) but I do think I would be less tired, would feel fitter and therefore be happier. Every overweight person knows that inside them is a slim person trying to get out and I have decided that slim person needs releasing!

I have set a goal! - one and a half pounds a week til I am reuntied with the boys - that will amount to 45 pounds , or 3 stone 2. It wont turn me into Twiggy but it will be a weight that I think is manageable.

I have made a chart which I am sticking on the front of my healthily stocked fridge. It is the numbers 45 down to 0 and I will cross them off as I go. It may sound a tad anal but it's how my mind works. I need all the help I can get - Christmas is just a month away and I love nothing better than a mince pie, sausage roll, brandy snap, christmas pudding, truffles, pringles, dip, stilton and sherry.

Oh, and this blog isn't all about my 'journey' - I will also be mentioning my teenage daughters, animals, love of X Factor and the trials and tribulations of a holiday property cleaning business.