Tuesday, 1 October 2013

Hopping on and off and trying not to think about the inevitable Momma tears.

So tomorrow is weigh in day at fat club. I have been good this week. Very good. I have however, been on and off those scales in the bathroom and I don't reckon I have lost a single gram. I know I shouldn't do it but I cant help myself. I even wrote a whole post about it on a fat club type forum entitled..................
And this is the opening paragraph...........
Ok, I know we're meant to weigh our cereal but I am self confessed SERIAL weigher. I know I shouldn't do it, I know that the only weight I should pay attention to is the one from the scales in class but I just can't stop myself!
I have just looked at this post again and it has had -
 133, 420 views
5,846 replies
2017 'likes'
so it's obviously hit a nerve with a lot of people.
I am not disheartened though because I have done so well over the last 3 weeks and I am sure if I drink lots of water tonight I will be fine and at least it's not a gain and I am rambling as the panic sets in and I wont see a minus sign in that book and it's all about the psychology isn't it?
Oh and my stupid competitive streak.
In order to give myself a last ditch boost I have gone carb free today. Carb free sucks. I love carbs. I have had kippers and fruit for breakfast, roast beef and fruit and yogurt for lunch and am having sea bass with roasted vegetables for dinner. My tummy is grumbling and I am trying to ignore it.
Ironically on the way home from fat club I am collecting the pasties that I have ordered for our Cornish buffet at book group tomorrow night. I will not sniff them or even look at them on the way home in  the car and I shall put them somewhere up high and out of sight from myself and the spaniels. I am not sure who will drool the most but a trail of saliva is never a good look.
On to other things - I am amazed at my productivity this last few days. I am on fire. I am organising things in top time, I am ticking off lists, I am buying beautiful 21st birthday presents in a quick click of the mouse, booking restaurants, train tickets , the lot and still finding time to work in between.
It has rained all day and I went out in my lovely cream mac type coat ( throwback from 80's Polytechnic chic ) and flip flops. I had a near accident which could have resulted in limb breakage but I managed to break into a recovery run at the last minute and I don't think anyone was around to witness it.  I hope.
And on Friday H is back to celebrate her birthday St Ives style. I am really looking forward to it and may even write her a special birthday poem for me to read out in the restaurant after I have been fuelled by the elderflower prosecco.
 I always get emotional on occasions like this because it's not just your own kids you see all grown up and lovely - it's all the other friends that you have known since they have been little sweet babas that tug on your heart strings too.
I am not known for open displays of mush but I feel that Saturday night may be a sob fest. Good job I have a couple of my grown up friends to support me or more likely to join in and we can compare mascara streaks and hormones.
Steak, salad, maybe the odd rogue chip, elderflower prosecco and wailing women.
What's not to like?

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