So despite waffling on about maybe rejoining and should I maybe keep non dieting and umming and ahhhhing and being all confused, I did it.
I WENT BACK TO FAT CLUB!
The consultant was pleased to see me, there was a few familiar faces, there was a lot of fat people and I felt quite at home. It was the large minty aero that tipped me over the edge last night. I haven't eaten chocolate for weeks and I wanted it more than I have wanted anything before in my whole life.
It's my time of the month approaching but that's no excuse. I need some discipline and if that means paying £4.95 to get weighed once a week and listening to a room full of overweight ladies and the odd gentlemen 'sharing' their latest recipe, then so be it.
Fat people are notoriously fickle. They can be completely dead against something one minute and then the next minute they'll love it. I'm not sure if I love fat club again like I used to yet, but I really need to shift the last bit and then I can maybe relax a little.
I am also a sucker for a sticker and a hearty round of applause. I quite like being praised on a 3 pound weight loss and I do love to tell them about my latest culinary success so needs must and all that.
Being on my non diet meant that I didn't particularly shop with Slimming World in mind, but I have had a poke through my fridge and there is enough there to get me started tomorrow. I need to do a dreaded Tesco shop and then on Sunday I will do some cooking and creating and by next Thursday I should be an old hand once again.
Of course, it also means that I can have a take away tonight so I am having fish and chips.
I bloody love fish and chips - and mushy peas and gravy ( it's a northern thing, relax) and I am drooling just thinking about them. I am not having any wine and I will probably not be able to manage them all, but it's what weigh in night's all about isn't it?
Celebrating your weight loss with a eat treat - I believe one would call this ironic.
The good news is that since the end of March I have lost nearly 2 stone so I am feeling quite proud off myself that I have done this on my own and without the 'help' of an organisation.
So next time I rave about a non diet , please just humour me and pat me on my head. You know that despite me saying how great my relaxed approach all was - you know that I will return to that hallowed hall in Hayle and admit that I need a pack of books and a special card and the camaraderie that goes with it all.
Wish me luck - I can nail this - for the last time............cough cough.