Tuesday, 9 July 2013

Adventurous baby gulls and the art of not squishing them.

So the baby gulls are dropping off the rooftops at an alarming rate. I think gulls are a pain in the arse and despite having lived here for over 20 years the sound of their squawking still prickles me. I wouldn't hurt one though and I hate seeing them wandering around looking for their Mommas.
Birds in general freak me out to be honest. It's the mad eyes and the beaks and the flapping wings that just put me on edge. I am not stupid enough to eat chips whilst walking along the harbour ( well obviously as I just don't do chips after my hog-fest of a weekend) so I have never had them ripped from my hand. I did get dive bombed on Porthmeor once though and it really hurt and you have all seen the evidence of one of my recent splatterings but like I said, I would never hurt one and it breaks my heart to see the little ones on the pavements , or even worse, lying squished on the roads.
M takes it all very seriously. I have raised 2 animal loving kids and she gets hysterical if a dog is so much as kicked on the telly so she has been monitoring all the roof fallen babies this last couple of weeks. Today there are at least 6 and all outside my house. One got squished up the back lane last week so had to be discreetly disposed of in the wheelie bin, 2 of them in particular hang around our gate and I have had to beep them several times to avoid gullacide and today all I could hear was things like -
Eeeh by gum dad there's a baby gull there
Cor blimey look at that little geezer
Oh my God hank, it's just like too cute , shall we go get a burger?
schauen Sie auf diesen kleinen Vogel
regardez ce petit oiseau
Hi, errr like soft lad, that , errrm like berrrrd needs to go the ozzie
I live in quite a multi cultural street as you can see and some of the passers by kept picking them up and putting them on my wall. I don't know why they did this as this enabled my 3 blood hungry spaniels to see them through the window and bark a lot. My cat could also see them and gave them evils from behind the glass but if confronted by one he would run a mile.
I have just driven M to work in the nearby village of Halsetown and it was like being on a round of the Krypton Factor just to get to the top of the street. I mounted the pavement twice and you know what? .... that baby gull just looked at me and barely raised a wing to say thank you.
If we touch them to rescue them their Mommas don't want them any more, so you never know quite what to . Once I was driving H back at 4 in the morning and we literally sat in the road waiting for one baby to move. In the end we had to do it ourselves and his Momma flew off. If Jezza Kyle ever did a bird show then I reckon he would have loads more gulls on than any other type.
I am driving again in an hour. Hopefully they will all have scuttled into someone's garden or learnt to fly by then.
It's all very stressful.......................

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