Saturday, 6 July 2013

Non diet extremeties, large horsey girls, four poster beds and my total lack of geography perception.

So we have just got back from the public speaking finals. Cornwall didn't win, they came 4th, but that was out of the entire country so that's quite an achievement. We are all shattered as it seemed to be the longest road trip ever but the laughs and the banter more than made up for it.
We were meant to leave at 5pm yesterday but it didn't quite go according to plan. I got confused with the arrangements and it all got a bit muddled but we got there............eventually.
5pm - I shouted goodbye to the girls as I thought that they were getting picked up by the drivers of the other car. I was going in Hugh ( the trainer's ) car but as I opened the door of the car parked outside  I realised that the car I thought I was going in actually had a strange man in and I really should wear my glasses.
5.10 pm - Hugh texted me to say he was running late.
5.15 pm - M decided to go to the Co-op to buy new tights.
5.20 pm - Hugh turned up.
5.25 pm - M came back from the Co-op. Hugh told us that both girls were coming with us and we were meeting the other car at Exeter.
5.30 pm - We set off to pick up vodka swigging Granny.
5.35 pm - Hugh missed the turning to Granny's house.
5.37 pm - Hugh pulled up outside Granny's house and I opened the car door and it got wedged on the pavement and we couldn't shut it again.
5.45 pm - Granny stopped watching the tennis and came outside.
5.50 pm - we had eaten all of our packed lunch - cheese and chilli jam baps and penguin biscuits - bloody lush - non diet extremity alert.
7.30 pm - meet other car at Exeter and I had to swap cars as I had the satnav.
7.35 pm - ate Bridget's chocolate - non diet extremity alert number 2.
8.45 pm - stopped at a pub in Somerset for dinner. I had a pie but with new potatoes and veg and a pint of magners and a vodka - non diet extremity number 3.
10pm - Left pub. I got back in original car.
10.30 pm - got lost due to roadworks on the M5 and then we all laughed as it had taken us nearly 6 hours and we were still in the South West.
11.30pm - got told we weren't staying in Staffordshire and despite my satnav and telling Hugh which road to take he still managed to go down the wrong road 3 times!!!! I bit my tongue - sort of.
11.45 pm - owner of B and B phoned to ask where we were. I said we would be 20 minutes.
12.30 pm - arrived at B and B which I have to say was very nice and I think it was in Warwickshire???? H and M had a four poster bed and this made me laugh.....
So we were finally there but all shattered so we slept soundly until we all got up for full English brekkie at 7.30. I had no butter on my toast but a hash brown - non diet sort of redemption.
We got to the venue just in time and it was scorching. We were all hot and sweaty and tired. I wont bore you with every team and their little foibles but I have to say M's speech was fab and I really enjoyed one about the badger cull and cow tb ..... really, I did!
Yorkshire won - and deserved to - I congratulated them . They were lovely and they liked that I used to live in Leeds. I didn't like the Shropshire speaker, I wanted to smack her smug face - she was large and fluffy and arrogant and squeezed into a dress about 2 sizes too small. There were a few tears and a couple of tantrums but I was a model pushy Mum. I only glared at a couple of other Mums a couple of times so that was good.
We then came home, we were all wilting in the car and stopped off at The Skylark Pub in Wellington - lovely grub, lovely staff and 2 pints of magners. I have asked H to hide the scales and I am sure I have developed some stretchmarks since yesterday.
We planned the next escapade on the way home, the roads were clear, we were all happy and it was lovely to see the
 'Welcome to Kernow'
Public Speaking rocks!

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