So I found about an hour ago that Henry the lovely old fella across the road has died.
I'm not sure of his exact age but I'm sure he was in his 90's so as they would say ''he had a good innings''. My husband remembers him from when him and his wife used to run a shop in St Ives and claimed that he always looked like an old man.
His wife died a couple of years ago and he was fiercely independent to the end. Gill my neighbour used to call in on them daily and cook meals for them and when he was left on his own and Gill tragically died I remember clearly standing outside our house in complete shock and my husband told a policeman - 'you may want to knock on that door there and tell Henry'. I was devastated about Gill but what added to my grief during that couple of weeks was 2 further things -
Henry stood at the door watching all the police, paramedics, fire brigade and crowd outside Gill's and
telling us 'she was my guardian angel you know'
Henry at Gill's house after the funeral sat crying into his hankie.
There is something very raw and vulnerable about an old person in tears. It broke my heart when I think of all the sights that man must have seen in his life and how distressing the whole tragedy with Gill was and how it must have had such a profound affect on him.
Death is a tricky one isn't it?
Some believe that you go to heaven , some believe that you go to hell, some believe that your spirit moves on, some believe you are reincarnated and some think that you are gone and that's it , no more.
I'm not quite sure what I believe to be honest. I do know that Henry's death has made me shed a little tear, partly because it brings back the sadness of my own losses throughout my life. Ideally, we all go to a wonderful place where we can climb on top of rainbows and swim with dolphins and run around poppy fields with our grandparents and dead pets, but who really knows?
I sort of believe in an afterlife as it makes the whole issue of death more comforting. I know at my Dad's funeral that the big long box with flowers on top contained the body that my Dad just happened to live in for 69 years. I could not associate it as being him. He was a Catholic and attended mass quite regularly so maybe that's all he needed to do to hang around with God and Jesus? I really don't know...........
I do know however, that a Christian friend of mine who lost her young niece a while back and who I banged into on the day of the funeral was sad because she would miss her but had complete faith that the little girl was in heaven and they would all meet again. I replied that although I wasn't convinced that I shared that view, I took comfort in their comfort, if that makes sense.
So Henry - we wont be seeing you stood at your door these days, watching the world go by but we wont forget you.
On a slightly jollier note, I am crossing my fingers that I get a good result at fat club tonight. I am taking my friend and fellow yo yo Jenny along and we will do it this time..............now how many
times have I said this?
I am off out for a meal tonight and I am sure there will be potatoes involved.
And if I choke on a chip?
Robbie Williams - 'Free' going in
Pet Shop Boys - 'Always on my mind' coming out
Ashes - half in Cornwall and the other half on Corby Craggs in Northumberland with my Dad
And if I am reincarnated?
I WANT TO COME BACK AS A THIN PERSON!