Saturday, 13 July 2013

Overdressed, baking heat and the seagulls are taking the mickey.

So it's day 599 of the heatwave. Yes, I know I am exaggerating and there is no way I am complaining. I am loving it. I did a lot of walking around town today and am brown as a berry - if that berry is pink, obviously.
The hot weather brings out the best and worst in everybody's fashion sense. Large people wear small clothes, men with gigantic beer guts lick ice creams whilst stood in their speedos, bingo wings are a flapping and many a hefty thigh is squeezed into  a pair of shorts. It's not good, but hey, it's the summer and you're on holiday - and so what?
I saw a few sights today and not all of them were nice. The most bizarre however was this person -

Lisa and I were stood outside a holiday cottage and she nudged me. We were both wearing vest tops and had bare legs and flip flops. I turned my head and spluttered. How could this person not faint wearing that fleece? Why the big chunky boots? What were the long thick trousers all about? She may have been walking in the shade but you could have fried an egg on that pavement today. My mind was boggling. Just looking at her made me perspire even more - it was not necessary at all.
The baby seagulls up the road are loving life although I do think they are taking the mick a bit now. Since Boris went yesterday to the birdy hospital we are left with Tony, Gordon and Peter. They are very comfortable at number 17 up the road at the moment.
Tony and Gordon chilling and grooming.
Peter having a bath.

Now I'm no expert but I reckon that these three are more than big enough to fly. I think they have got used to the relative luxury of Bedford Road. They were tame, tourists were patting them when I snapped them. They were loving it. They were practically performing for them. I am keeping my eye on them and if they're still there this time next week I am going to shoo them all the way to the beach.

Day Two of being back on a diet zzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I still have my scales because Leanne is still in France. I had a cheeky hop and I think I may have put on a pound. I am going to smash them with a hammer tomorrow if she doesn't come back soon and wrench them from my grasp.

I have to lose on my first week back! There are 4 Serbians rooting for me.

If I don't then I may dress like 'fleece woman' for a few days and sweat myself to a sticker!


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