Tuesday, 30 July 2013

Cheeky little poem for all of you ladies of a certain age...........

So today I wrote a poem about wife swapping, or swinging as it's apparently better known.
 It was funny and as I had written  one poem today, I thought, 'bugger it, I'll write 2!' The most exciting part of my day is waiting for a steam cleaner that I have ordered from Amazon to be delivered so I think this will give you an indication of why I have been poetic. If you have fallen asleep by this point then WAKE UP it gets better, I promise you.
I have eaten some baked cheesecake and it's the quiz tonight. Mutley has only eaten a slipper today and mother in law in hospital until the weekend.
This poem is dedicated to all my 40 something friends................they will totally get it!
Goodbye George, it’s over, it’s not me , it’s you.
So for all you 80’s girls out there
That lived that decade in your teens ……..
How the hell did we miss it?
Were we really all that green?
Or were we blinded by our eyeliner
Did our fringes blur our sight
And make Wham!
 the epitome of manhood
As we now know that’s not right
I can see them like it’s yesterday
As they pranced into my life
George so butch, so roarrrrrr, so macho
Oh god I’d love to be his wife!
His flicks were big and bouncy
And they topped his glowing tan
God damn Pepsi and Shirlie
Get your hands right off my man
His pants were white and tight and sexy
They made me have rude thoughts
And who cares if a shuttlecock
Put the bulge into his shorts?
Not I for one, it didn’t click
I just thought that he was whacky
His t shirts the height of fashion
Not cheesy cheap and tacky
So it was with complete and great dismay
When he decided to come out
I saw it on the telly
‘’oh noooooooooooooo’’ they heard me shout
How could he be, what have I missed?
Did his persona reveal his likes?
What’s so wrong about a  pilot?
Or wearing leathers on your bike?
Or fancy Christmas jumpers
Or mentioning Doris Day
Or putting jitterbugs into my brain
Did that really make him GAY?
And then of course he went and got
Nicked for hanging round the loos
I believe they call it cottaging
Not a hobby I would choose
So my dream was crushed, my heart was broke
All I had left were his songs
And looking back
I can’t believe
That we all got it so wrong…………..

1 comment:

  1. I knew he was gay, because he made a pass at one of my male friends!!

    Also can I borrow your steam cleaner?

    Leanne xx