So I tossed and turned a bit last night. I kept thinking about my Mum being ill and my brother being ill ( and lying in his flat undiscovered ) and then I thought of my Dad and how it's nearly 5 years since he died . I thought of the old man across the road called Henry - he is 95 and Gill next door used to cook meals for him and check up on him. He wasn't up to going to her funeral but came to the wake afterwards and the sight of a 95 year old man crying into his cloth hankie is not a nice one.
He called Gill his 'angel'. And she was.
Is this what being a grown up is all about? If so, can I go back to being young? They say that your school days are the best days of your life which I don't agree with as I didn't really like school but I do wish I could wind the clock back to when my biggest dilemma was the coca cola or raspberry flavoured lipgloss or which pair of earrings to wear.
However, I was presented with this from the Interflora man this morning.
It is the most beautiful and fragrant bouquet. I love it. I was moved to tears. It was a wonderful and caring gesture from a friend that I have never met. We have a mutual friend on facebook and we added each other a couple of years ago after a particularly boisterous banter and since then we 'yap' most days and generally listen to each other's moans and groans. We both have a similar sense of humour ( naughty ) and have had some proper belly laughs. She is a good and decent person.
When she asked for my address I didn't think for one moment she wanted it for this but I am so glad she did.
Another friend of mine, Debbie never fails to make me laugh. She sometimes says things out loud which maybe she shouldn't but it always makes me chortle.
The lovely Leanne - one of the funniest folk I know. I used to think she was shy and retiring but not any more. Our love of books and hatred of Jodi Picoult ( sorry Tara ) brought us together.
So, things aren't much better on the whole depressing family front....................but I have only cried tears of joy today. If you want to leave the room and vomit, go ahead.
It's intellectual book group tonight which is always a laugh. A real mixed bag of characters that genuinely all get along.
Oh and there will be wine and egg sandwiches too which is always cause for celebration.
My Dad always used to say 'I'll never see you beat, pet'.
Wise words Dad xxxx