Thursday, 26 September 2013

Oily t-zones and a lorra lorra fizz.

So we had the spa day and I would be fibbing if I said that I wasn't feeling a little tiddlypops!
I genuinely think that for ladies in a similar business that a spa day is recommended at least once every 2 months and that it would be very rude not to indulge in one or two bottles of prosecco. I am not an unfit mother by the way - I only have one child left at home and she is independent and at sixth form so a few bubbles wouldn't  hurt, but my head may  tomorrow.
Let's talk about the spa though.
It was formerly the Porthminster Hotel in St Ives but is now called the Harbour Hotel and Spa. It was odd going there, as it was the very first place that I worked in when I came to this town many moons ago. We checked in and I have to say their attention to detail and the finer points of boutique chic were faultless. Low lighting, a lot of marble and subtle music all added to the ambience , in fact -  wow is the word I will use.
We got given fluffy bathrobes, slippers and were pointed to the pool and the Jacuz zi.  They also showed us the gym and we laughed.We didn't swim but we did sit in among the bubbles for ages and had a general moan about the world of holiday property lettings and our mutual dislikes.  
Lunch was at 12 and we ordered prosecco. Like a tramp on a sandwich we glugged it quickly and then I may have dribbled a bit of seafood linguini down my robe and then we made friends with Maria the waitress who adored us and then we both resisted pudding but I did have 2 slices of bread! My lunch was somewhat flimsy and all of you knowthat a flimsy meal and alcohol is not the best combination for me.
Ordering a second bottle of the fizzy stuff seemed like a good idea at the time but by the time we finished lunch and had to go for our treatments we were flagging and quite possibly wavering about a bit. We went back to the low lighting place and were met by 4 girls of around 16 who did not look amused or impressed by these 2 x 45 year olds all pink and flushed and carrying a half full wine bottle. I tried not to laugh at this point.
I was booked in for a facial with Helen. She removed the bottle of prosecco from my hand and made me lie on the bed thing and be quiet. I told her my skin was dry and she told me I had an oily t-zone but a dry neck. She slathered on some stuff and gave me a head massage and then tried to flog me something to tackle my oily t-zone and dry neck but I resisted but then booked in next week to have, well I would rather not say what I am booking in to have but let's just say........ouch.
We then staggered back to the pool and faced the dilemma of both needing to go to the loo. We were still wearing our swimming costumes under our fluffy linguini stained robes and both decided that to wee then we would shift it over as opposed to peeling it off.
Ladies - you will get this.
 Men - you won't.
So all in all it was a good day. I would definitely go again and came away feeling suitable pampered. I keep touching my t-zone and my neck and wondering if I should have succumbed to the outright exploitation of my flaws but these days I am strong. Roar.
This is what we looked like before the prosecco.
I had my hangover specs on. It must have been prophetic of me to wear them.
This is me showing a bit of leg and the top bit of what could possibly be the most horrific swimming costume ever made.
Thankfully you cant see my dry neck or oily t-zone.
Not that I am obsessing about them of course.................

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