Birthday flowers, really really stupid people and a fun day in Sylvia tomorrow.

So it's my mother's birthday.

 I didn't forget as such, I just didn't remember - until this morning where a quick phone call to a florist in Bristol redeemed me good and proper. Am I a bad person or am I just slack? I don't know but the situation was sorted. My mother and I 'prickle' each other. I think that's the best word to describe it and I am saying no more as I am sure it will open the floodgates for analysis and I am too busy to be analysed. Plus, I am an enigma.

 

Now I am going to open the floodgates here on the subject of stupid people.

I couldn't care two hoots if a person cant read or write very well and they don't know where Chad is or what the theory of relativity is but sometimes, no, a LOT of the time I really ask myself this -

 

''AM I SPEAKING THE SAME LANGUAGE?''

 

I have had 3 'stupid' incidents to deal with today. I want so much to enlarge on them but I cant as there is a possibility that one or all of the stupid may read this, and I genuinely like all of the people involved. They just make me hyperventilate a bit and breathe in a shallow manner. Patience is not my strong point. It never has been and I know I can be a ballsy old cow BUT I will give you a brief outline of what I have had to deal with.

 

1. I got a phone call saying that something had been left in a holiday property . I said that I'm sure it hadn't been as I had been there myself and I hadn't seen it. The stupid insisted the guests had rung up and said this so ( bearing in mind I have had other stuff to do ) I trundled off to the other side of town and knocked the door. The thing wasn't there, as I had already said. I phoned the stupid who said -

''oh yeah, it may have been a different property''

to which I said

''well which one?''

and they said

''Oh I cant remember''

 

Deep Breath.

 

2. This story is too boring for me to even bother typing it and it involved a missing part from a vacuum cleaner. Now anyone that knows me knows, I am very precise and verbally competent when describing something. I said exactly what part and the recipient of my description just wasn't getting it. I was very dignified.

 

Deep Breath.

 

3. Oh god, this is even more boring than the first 2 so I'm not even going there. This recipient is overly perky and  when you add overly perky to stupid it's never a good combination.

 

Deep Breath.

 

And moving on.................

 

H is packed, her room is 'tidy' and we leave at 7am. We are going in trusty Sylvia - H's little silver Ford KA. It suits H as she is only 3 foot 3  but I never have enough room for my legs. I have to push the front seat right back to use the pedals and I'm sure the driver's window doesn't open. Oh and sometimes the driver's door doesn't unlock so you have to climb in through the passenger seat. Sylvia's one good quality though is that she does go fast. She will be nipping me back down that motorway and then the horrible  horrible A30 in no time at all. I am not afraid of big lorries and I will drive sensibly. I will not end up in Port Talbot and I will be fine.

 

I hope...........