So it was first weigh in today after being at target and I maintained. I should technically be happy with this but there is a little bit of the huffy in me today and it's hard to get used to not losing. I need to get over myself and chill out.
I had a cheeseburger and chips a week ago and 2 extra slices of bread on Saturday and apart from that I have been as angelic as I will ever be. The whole point of setting a target weight is to be at a weight you want to be at and are able to maintain yet I have still got a face like a bulldog licking piss off a thistle. It is also my time of the month so that is why I want to growl, froth and cry all at the same time. I should maybe make a list of nice things and count my blessings but at this precise moment I want to sit in a dark room and listen to Dido and maybe eat a pie or two. Tomorrow I will be better.
I heard from one of my oldest friends last night. She emigrated to Canada 15 years ago and we last saw each other when we were both pregnant - me with my youngest and her with her oldest. Time flies and we yapped and laughed for over an hour and promised that we wouldn't leave it so long until next time. Maybe this is why I am a bit glum today? Everyone is getting older. Even me.
On a positive note - I have now got the nice scales back in their rightful place. These are the ones that show my correct weight and don't tease me. Angela from fat club gave me them back this morning and I nearly kissed them and her. I haven't hopped on yet but I know they are there - almost like a comfort blanket really and to put my fragile ego at rest for the days I get a bit wobbly. Every so often I will do my 'I do not need scales' rant, but if the truth be known, I totally do.
And today is the start of Lent. I was going to give up bread, then it was meat , then it was wine and then it was chocolate and then I thought oh stop already. I gave up booze for all of January, I don't eat bread much, I bloody love meat and I have gone off chocolate so there is nothing really to give up that will have that much of an impact on me or my lifestyle so I am giving up giving up. Obviously giving up meat would have an impact but I am sure you can all remember my one day of vegetarianism last year and how I was practically eyeing up my spaniels by lunchtime.
And it is book group tonight and I am hoping for a Viagra of a book to help revive my severely flagging reading mojo. I am a book geek, a reader, a devourer of fiction , and nothing seems to be floating my boat at the moment.............apart from Jenny Éclair and that's probably only because she has the same name as a cake! I want to have a book that I don't want to put down, a book that I think about when I am not reading it and a book that makes me sad to finish. Am I being demanding? Yes.
So before you all feel the need to slit your wrists after reading this, I am going to cheer myself up. I am going to eat some curry for lunch and to make some lists and to just basically snap out of the doldrums. I will be back tomorrow, happy as the proverbial Larry, whoever he may be.