Things that fit, my fluttering eye and the things you agree when you are drunk........

So the upside to losing weight is dragging things out of the bottom drawer and trying it on and it fitting - perfectly.

 

My problem is that I am an impulse buyer and I have a LOT of stuff with labels on that I haven't been able to squeeze my fat arse in until now. For example, we have -

 

1. A stiff floral skirt

2. A lovely little white top that my chest is never going to decently  fit - ever.

3. Some rather chic black capri pants that are still tight but I can do them up.

4. Other stuff that I don't want to talk about.

 

Since the giving away of my scales I have been on this diet like a tramp on a sandwich. There is no pressure any more. I lost half a pound this week and I technically have 4 more to lose until I get to my target and get a sash and a badge and there is a fanfare of trumpets etc. Not quite sure what I do when I am at target because I will have nothing to aim for, apart from maybe being able to move /sit down / breathe in the aforementioned capri pants. We all need a goal don't we?

 

I am also stressed! I do not want to explain why - it's actually rather boring but this stress has given me a twitch in my right eye. It flutters and it flicks and I can see it doing it. I am the proverbial twitchy thin woman. I never twitched when I was fat, or if I did I was too busy enjoying a pie to notice. I need to weigh this up - are hip bones really worth it if you have a facial contortion??

 

And yes, it is still vile weather here. I am fed up with being wet and cold. My skin is pallid and I want to wear my flip flops. I went shopping today at the commercial mecca of Hayle and got soaked just from going from car to shop. My nose is constantly running and if you add that to the twitch then it isn't pleasant.

 

Now on to alcohol!

 

I have done many things throughout my life that have been fuelled by the over consumption of alcohol.

 

 Many Many things BUT never have I agreed to jump out of a plane and nearly die.

 

 Debbie and I are doing this in September.

 

 I don't want to do it. I am scared of heights. Bugger charity, I am bricking myself. Her boyfriend has given us £100 already and we haven't even booked it. I phoned to enquire  and a gentle voiced lady said ''oh I am sure you'll be fine '' as I shrieked hysterically down the line. I bet she had a right laugh about us on her coffee break. It is 7 months away and we need to set a date as apparently people are 'breaking their necks' to go ahead and book, and yes, that is the phrase she used.

 

Before that I have Dolly to see, H to graduate and then Robbie at the O2. These will be my happy thoughts as I plummet quickly.

 

And as I will still be a target member of fat club then I will be no doubt looking just fabulous in my jumpsuit.............I am sure there is one somewhere in my bottom drawer. x

dietdevil: I want my scales back and I am going to be on the ...

dietdevil: I want my scales back and I am going to be on the ...: So since my last blog I have given my scales away , had a birthday, and oh yes.............one of my poems is going to be on the radio!  ...

I want my scales back and I am going to be on the radio and I dont care how many people I tell.......

So since my last blog I have given my scales away , had a birthday, and oh yes.............one of my poems is going to be on the radio!

 

I will explain the scales bit first.

 

I have said many a time on here and basically to anyone that will listen that I am a hopper on and off. I get up, I hop on, I hop off, I have a wee, I hop back on, I hop off, I clean my teeth, I hop back on. I have cheeky little hops ons through the day, I hop on at night and if I wake for a wee through the night, I hop on then too. This is doing me no good as the only scales I should really pay any attention to are the official ones at fat club. I gave my scales to a very nice lady called Angela.

 

I want them back.

 I want them back now.

I am weighing tomorrow totally 'blind' and have no indication as to what those bad boys will say in the morning and quite frankly, this is unsettling me.

 

I told Angela when I gave them to her not to let me have them back no matter how much begging and pleading I did and I think tomorrow there will be a LOT of that. I am a mess without them.

 

My birthday was good though. I am now 46, which I think is a bit too close to 50 for my liking but I am not going to stress about it. I got given some lovely gifts and huge amounts of alcohol, which of course after Saturday, I could drink again. My moderation amazed even me! I didn't drink loads and I didn't get drunk. My nose went heavy and I felt very tired but I am sure I behaved myself as much as can be expected. I haven't really had a drink since then and all my numerous bottles are all sat looking at me. It's odd - I know I can have them if I want but I am not sure I actually want them at the moment................

 

And the bestest news from the last few days was from Source FM,  a local ( ish ) radio station that is going to play one of my poems on its' show on Friday evening. I had to tell them a bit about myself and I said something which I thought was quite arty farty like 'yeah I like to observe people and I am lucky to have a lot of diverse people in my life which I take my material from'. I refrained from saying 'luvvy' at the end and the recording I have done is a bit cringey but we all have to start somewhere. The poem they picked was one I wrote a couple of weeks ago and in case any of you haven't read it - here it is..........

 

 

 

A Different Hat

So all the people that you encounter...
Throughout the course of humdrum days
As you rush to work, or dash round shops
With the odd child attached stickily to your hand
Some may intrigue
Some may be bland
But behind the masks of normality
Do you ever
Stop and question
That
Some may wear a different hat?

Those happy souls with smiles attached
To glowing faces
May in fact
Sit quietly when there’s no one there
May only hear their own despair
May stare at walls
Or gaze at screens
Or breathe in violent curdled screams

And those so quiet
And just ignored
We imagine sit there prim and bored
But what if they , yes, really them,
Entertain some gentlemen
Engage in drinking, swinging , drugs,
Or sip cheap dark rum from china mugs
And that grey man upon the train?
By night he may just inflict pain
On someone tied onto his bed
He cracks whips while she gives head
Behind each cranny and every nook
There’s many hats on many hooks
Of normal people just like us
That want to blend, not make a fuss
But never underestimate your observations
Of people’s lives
And complications
Never think all’s as it seems
Never think well that is that
For with us all, within our dreams
We can all sometimes wear a different hat

 

Of course since then I have had complete writers block but by writing today's blog I am easing myself in gently................darling.

dietdevil: The hatred of scales, a new addition and will the ...

dietdevil: The hatred of scales, a new addition and will the ...: So I am THREE POUNDS UP from my weigh in on Wednesday.   How and Why?   This is where I should toss those scales out the window an...

The hatred of scales, a new addition and will the lunges clear my sinuses?

So I am THREE POUNDS UP from my weigh in on Wednesday.

 

How and Why?

 

This is where I should toss those scales out the window and calm the hell down but of course I am not going to do that because -

1. They may hit a passing spaniel on the head

2. I am not generally a calm person so it's unlikely that this will make me one.

 

I have no idea where this THREE POUNDS has come from and I hope to god that it goes away before next Wednesday. The good news on the dietary front though, is that I now fit into a pair of jeans that I bought in November that would go no further than my thighs so maybe the THREE POUNDS have just moved to another part of my body - like my ankles perhaps?

 

Today M got her car. It is a red version of the dearly departed Sylvia that served H so well after she passed her driving test. It is a car that both the girls will share and I am looking forward to how that will turn out.

 

 

I drove it home and it went like a dream and due to some total idiot that indicated a bit late going through Carbis Bay, I am now 100% sure that the brakes are in full working order.

All we need now are the 'L' plates.........and she's off!

 

I have got some yukky bug. My throat is sore and I have catarrh and I feel slightly sick. I do not like feeling like this and I am miserable.

 

I need to get better. Tomorrow is my second beach bootcamp and I cant wait to see 'Steve' again. I am praying that more people turn up so it's not just me and Vickie. I am figuring that if there are more than 2 of us than he may not notice my lethargic planking and half hearted 'sprinting' down to the shore. It's not that I don't want to go, it's just that I feel as weak as a kitten and not in the least bit energetic but I will be there in mind and body and ready to lunge.

 

I am also taking my camera so you can all see what 'Steve' looks like. Oh and this week I must remember water..............and maybe some sinus tablets too.

dietdevil: Targets, Teenagers and TeeTree!

dietdevil: Targets, Teenagers and TeeTree!: So today is the day and baby M is now 17!   Now I'm not saying she is high maintenance but......................she is a bit like t...

Targets, Teenagers and TeeTree!

So today is the day and baby M is now 17!

 

Now I'm not saying she is high maintenance but......................she is a bit like the queen and her birthday appears to be lasting for quite a few days. Around 179 teenage girls plus Gareth, Tom and Callum have all just left my house to go and eat at Peppers. They are shrieking and giggling and I feel sorry for the waitress that will be attending to them. M has already said she 'might' have fillet steak and she is still heady from her driving lesson with Lovely Nick, who incidentally looks a bit like Russell Crowe. It's all good and I didn't even howl too much when her friend Freya posted this video of all of her friends saying happy birthday. Well I did a bit but hey ho.

 

But back to me..............It was fat club today and I sort of reached a target. It's an interim target and I am going to try and lose another 7 - 10 pounds and see how I feel. This is strange. I have never reached a target before and when I do I am not quite sure what to do.........

 

At my spiritual home of Redruth there are several target members who all seem to keep on the straight and narrow. They all seem to cook and eat a lot and I also cook and eat a lot so I am hoping that these qualities will bode well for the future of my hip bones - and yes, the hip bones have now reappeared.

I suppose it's all about finding the right balance. Counteracting a mars bar with an apple and saying no to that second glass of wine and for all you non dieters out there - yes we do have to think like this!

 

I have been religiously been writing down my list of funnies. I have 15 of them now and some of them are rude. I have copied and pasted the follwing as a taster of what we are dealing with -

 

January 8th - Somebody thought I was the ballet teacher

January 9th - Leanne Vickie and I signing up for bootcamp

January 10th - Hattie's look of venom when I said what music I like on Youtube

January 11th - EVERYTHING about beach bootcamp

January 12th - John wanting to slap me when I told him how to make me a bacon sandwich

 

and I am guessing some of you are now thinking 'hmmm well I suppose you had to be there' and yes, maybe you did but they are all snippets from everyday life  that have made me smirk, laugh or holler.

 

I am relieved of Brizzle duties for this weekend. I have persuaded kind H to go there. She doesn't want to and it's going to cost me a dongle but my brother and I are very happy that she agreed. The drive back last Sunday was horrific and I am not one of life's natural drivers and I honestly don't think I can face it again for a couple of weeks.

 

I also have no hot water. My gas boiler has died and I can only have showers until it is mended.

I don't like showers that much and even less so since an incident with some very 'sharp' teatree shower gel. Think your worst people - it stung!

 

I have gallons of things to put in a bath that will relax me, soothe me and make me feel invigorated and I am going to either sit in the bath of a holiday home around the corner or up to Leanne's.Of course, now that I am all sylph like I could maybe sit in my shower but it just wouldn't be the same.

 

Onwards and upwards and downwards - it's all part of life.