Teetotal Tourettes and Good Riddance Metronidazole!

So I am on day 7 of no booze. I haven't missed it but in all fairness I have been so poorly what with my 'mouth issues' that I haven't even thought about it.  I don't care if you lot don't believe me - it's true! I finish the tablets tomorrow and I am allowed to have a drink 48 hours later - so that's my Friday night sorted. There is something cold and fizzy in my fridge and it's not diet coke and I am going to have a huge glass of it with my dinner.

 

I had a long chat with a friend today about nothing in particular and I have to say I was a potty mouthed shrew. I quite like the odd swear but I do believe that there is a time and a place and that time and place was around 10.30 in my lounge this morning. I picked up on the fact that I was being a bit rude and we decided that I had 'teetotal tourettes'. It was great and I may just never drink again but swear a lot but I seriously doubt that will happen. I simply cannot deny myself one of life's pleasures without balancing the naughtiness out elsewhere and therefore I am thinking as soon as I have that first glug that I will revert to speaking like Joanna Lumley again.

 

I am seeing Casual Nick tomorrow and he will say ( he's Welsh so I am doing him in a Ness from Gavin and Stacey accent but he doesn't speak anything like that at all really ) -

 

CN - Aright presh, how's it going?

 

ME - Well Nick now you mention it, I have my list of side effects with me...........

 

CN - Cockin lush ............

 

He will be impressed by my bravery and he will no doubt poke around my gums again and if he even dares to suggest that I need another week's worth then my teetotal tourettes may be unleashed.

 

On a negative note - I am not going to get that shiny award tomorrow at fat club. According to my mutha f**** scales I am 2 pounds up. They are totally messing with my head and they nearly got a swift kick this morning. I have eaten nothing naughty at all, I resisted every bloody cake going and I can feel a huge hissy fit brewing. I can just about handle a maintain but if I see a plus sign in my weight book then look out Redruth! And if that witchy woman also called Liz sits near me trying to befriend me again then she may get the brunt of the potential hissy fit. Just saying.

 

I know I am being a drama queen but I am frustrated and I know there are going to be weeks I don't lose but I just think why the hell would it be on a week when I have lived the life of a nun? I have been to a restaurant and eaten healthily  , I have been to a pub and drunk diet coke  and all for what ? No booze and a 2 pound gain. AND no carbs today or yesterday!

 

I can feel an attack coming on so I am going to eat a Satsuma.

 

Everyone cross your god damned effing fingers for me.

 

Thanks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

dietdevil: Buns, Bunting and Banter!

dietdevil: Buns, Bunting and Banter!: So the cake sale has been and gone! It was fab! We sold loads and had a hoot! What I lacked in baking skills I made up for in persuading cu...

Buns, Bunting and Banter!

So the cake sale has been and gone! It was fab! We sold loads and had a hoot! What I lacked in baking skills I made up for in persuading customers to buy stuff and Leanne's cookies were outstanding! It was a roaring success and we are doing it again in a month.

 

 

 

And due to us both being giddy on the smell of sugar we have got grand plans. There will be a sign, there is going to be fairy lights and  more rock buns............did I mention that my rock buns sold like hot cakes? Well they did and they made up for the horrific jam tarts. My friend Debra's little girl had one very early into the day and claimed that it was 'hard' - she ate the jam with her tongue and then gave me the discarded pastry case. From then on whenever anyone wanted to buy one ( which wasn't often  I assure you ) I flinched a bit and I'm sure Leanne muttered under her breath at one point as she bagged one up ''yeah good luck with that''.

 

This was the offending article after Lucy had removed the jam. Readers of a delicate disposition may want to look away.............

 

 

 

But it was lovely to catch up with people and see lots of new babies all snug in their buggies as their yummy mummy's struggled between the choice of post birth weight loss and a muffin. Leanne and I are curvaceous so we encouraged them to buy as many as possible and it seemed to work as there was hardly anything left. Mainly jam tarts really - but we don't want to talk about that. I am letting go.

 

And speaking of me and cakes - can I just say that I did not have a single one! Nothing passed my lips other that a black coffee half way through the morning. Add that to the fact that I am still on my antibiotics and the fact that I don't carb today or tomorrow and you will be impressed that I am even strong enough to type this blog. Oh and if I don't get that next shiny on Wednesday there will be trouble up Redruth!

 

Our next cake stall is on Saturday 7th December. We have got very grand plans. There will be mince pies ( obviously ) and bits of gingerbread that you can hang on trees and home made sweets and everything! Of course by then I will not be on medication and will almost be a size zero so I may treat myself to some sort of nicey as a treat.

 

I have also resolved a couple of issues today and tomorrow is my last full day of tablets and we also raised money for Cancer Research and the British Heart Foundation so all good.

 

Onwards and downwards.

 

And finally, a certain 'friend' has just emailed me to say and I quote .....

 

I lost a whole tooth this afternoon but I am not relating the loss to your rock buns.... Lol

 

Maybe next month's sale should come with a disclaimer............

dietdevil: Yesterday - antiobiotic hell, Today - cake heaven....

dietdevil: Yesterday - antiobiotic hell, Today - cake heaven....: So yesterday was day 4 of my vile tablets. It didn't go well. I made the mistake of having a flimsy brekkie before my first pill of the...

Yesterday - antiobiotic hell, Today - cake heaven.

So yesterday was day 4 of my vile tablets. It didn't go well. I made the mistake of having a flimsy brekkie before my first pill of the day and I went downhill - fast! I wont go into the ins and outs and graphics of it but I was a weak and crumpled wreck with all sorts of side effects ( real and imaginary) infesting my body. I was all set to give them up and ring Casual Nick tomorrow demanding some different ones  but a very good friend with 'the knowledge'  told me to man up and eat stodgier meals. So I am torn between painful gums and my next shiny sticker but the gums won and I shall persevere.

There is no point in being slim if I have an unhappy mouth.

 

It is cakes a go go in my kitchen at this precise moment. M and her best friend Loli are crashing about in there as we speak. I have had a conference call with Leanne this morning and we went over the finer points of packaging and where she can park in the morning and of course our dresses. She has her list, M and Loli have their list and I have my list. Mine is the lower end of the gene pool of baking...

 

Rock Buns

 

Coconut Ice

 

Jam Tarts

 

These are things that most kids can make with their eyes shut. I am not a kid and my eyes will be wide open. I cant go wrong can I? I know that baking is not my forte and I have many other talents so the results should be interesting. I am thinking that the 'distressed' look is what I am going for and rock buns can be any old shape so it's all going to be fine. I also haven't tried my dress on but I am confident that it will fit! As long as I don't sample the food.

 

Some photos of the work in progress........

 

 

M and Loli star bakers

 

 

 

M and her heart shaped cake tin

 

 

 

 

Loli being industrious

 

 

 

 

Some of the many ingredients including some pink icing in M's mouth - nice!

 

 

 

 

 

And notice what they're watching on the iPad whilst baking.

 

So far so good. My kitchen is smelling wonderful. Mary Berry is keeping an eye on them and they have posh ravioli for lunch.

 

When they have finished the more creative items for the stall , I shall go in!

 

Rock buns will be the new in thing by the time I have finished with them and no messing!

 

 

 

 

 

dietdevil: I'm not one to moan.....................but..........

dietdevil: I'm not one to moan.....................but..........: So I am now on day three of these antibiotics and I don't want to play any more. They may be curing all my ills but I actually feel wor...

I'm not one to moan.....................but................

So I am now on day three of these antibiotics and I don't want to play any more. They may be curing all my ills but I actually feel worse now I have started taking them than I did before. My gums feel a bit better and I am surviving my alcohol ban and that's about it really. I treated myself to some lovely winter vegetable soup today from the health food shop and I have to say -  it was delicious. I also bought some multi vitamins and something to settle my tummy. I am determined to feel better for Monday and all the cake flogging.

Halloween seemed to pass us by last night. No kids knocked on the door that I know of and the next big thing on is November 5th. I like fireworks, but only really on Bonfire Night. Having 3 dogs and a cat doesn't make for a relaxing evening when there are rockets and swishy loud things going off every 5 minutes does it? I spoke to my fat club buddy today and we were still laughing at 'the witch' from Wednesday and we were sort of wondering if she will turn up next week dressed as a rocket or a toffee apple. Miaow.

My scales do not love me for some reason. I am 2 pounds up on Wednesday so I was an even unhappier bunny than normal this morning. I have scoured the side effects of the nasty tablets for 'weight gain' and cant find it so I shall have to just wait and see and remember not to lick any spoons and bowls. I can eat normally and have been as good as gold so don't know what that's all about but if they continue to be mean to me they will get lobbed down my very long flight of stairs.

I am hoping that tomorrow I may feel a bit better and if I do then I will be going again to the gym! I could still walk today after yesterday's shenanigans so am up for another session. And another and another and another obviously.

And finally - I was so happy the other day to get my new boots through the post. I like boots and I loved the look of these. I wore them today and they are the most uncomfortable pair of boots I have ever worn in my life. Gutted is an understatement! I had high hopes for those bad boys and now................well they can go and sit under minging dress and I shall scowl at them in passing.

Tomorrow I will feel better and I will wear flip flops.