So I haven't blogged for nearly a week. I have been busy busy busy. Up to Cardiff to visit H, popping over to Bristol to visit Mother and then back to rainy Cornwall. I had a great time but I am tired.
I weighed in at a Welsh fat club and managed to stay the same even though I hadn't eaten much and I am confident of a gain this week. I need to get to grips with this. Since rejoining in September I have lost every week apart from twice when I maintained and I hate failing. BUT what chance do I have?
It was our book group do last night and it was a murder mystery night and I drank rather a lot. I also ate bread, roast potatoes and cheese - but I did give my crackers away. This will not help me and I am trying to convince myself that a gain of a couple of pounds is not the end of the world..............but this is going to be hard.
I am not a huge fan of Christmas. It always slightly depresses me and I know there will be lots of wine and chocs in the house and I just don't know if I have the willpower to resist - and to be quite honest, why should I? It's only really a couple of days and surely there's only so much choc I can consume but the thought of it is stressing me out.
I am still going to attend fat club but am thinking that I may actually aim to be the same weight as I am now at the end of the month and then crack on with a vengeance in January. This will enable me to keep an eye on what I eat but not to become hysterical if I don't lose. This will be the logical thing to do and as I am rarely logical then I think I should try it.
On a jollier note, last night's do was fabulous! The murder mystery was played out by actors and I think I may have found my dream job! The characters each did various scenes and interactions and then came round the tables so we could question them. We had all had rather a lot of alcohol by the time this took place so the banter was flying left right and centre. We were also encouraged to heckle and join in and I loved every moment of it. I now want to be a murder mystery actress when I grow up. I texted Leanne to tell her this but she was drunk in Bristol and kept calling me 'Luz' or 'Loz' and I don't think she got quite how excited I was.
My tree is not up and will not be up for I reckon about 2 weeks tops. I haven't bought a single present and I haven't seen any sign of this film on telly yet so who knows? I have 23 days left to get my arse into gear and to try and un-Ebeneezer myself.
It also 30 days until the end of my annus horribilus . I told Casual Nick the dentist about it when he last prodded my gums and he said I will never have another year like it. He may be a bit rough with his gum cleaning tools but he is a kind man and I hope he is right. The second half of the year did improve but I am looking forward to 2014 and new challenges and a couple of cheeky little resolutions to try and stick to.
Onwards and downwards - just not until January x